The Hibernation
Have you ever wondered how a website owner could slip into hibernation, without a word and seemingly disappear from the world of all things online and meaningful? Well, let me list some possibilities that may have occurred for such hibernation to occur.
- You can start, by failing to think of something for your series entitled Wednesday Weevils, and post some half-nonsense poop about FooFoo’s. Although you did wonder if anyone knew about any cool photos sites besides Flickr, it really wasn’t a real Wednesday Weevil. In the end, you managed to upgrade your Flickr account so the 200 photos maximum has vamooshed.
- You can then follow up that post, with a completely pointless and stupid entry written in a pirate accent, that simply celebrates the smiley on the Internet.
- A few posts fall in, apologizing for lack of time. Even some fiction-sounding material works it’s way in.
- Then you jet off to the grand US of A.
- Whilst you manage two twitter updates (1, 2) during this trip, they mark the true beginning of the full-on Hibernation Period.
What happened, you ask, during this Hibernation? The gathering of acorns? The deep-sleep slowly fueled by thick layers of insulating fat? Well… here’s what might have taken place, immediately after the return to gloomy England.
-
You’ve had such a brilliant time abroad, your last night was filled with tears. You yearn to stay and live there, once again. Your life in England cannot compete with the hope the two week vacation put unknowingly in your heart. You, along with your sister and father all get drunk on delicious wine, wiping away the tears, but fail to ease the constriction of your chest muscles. - Upon returning to your home country, and the building you call ‘home’ you feel empty. You want to be back with your father, and the little lion dude. At least you have the pumpkin princess to snuggle with.
- In the next month, you wake up to reality, and realise things aren’t that bad. Yes, you want to live there, but actually, your home country is better to study in for your chosen degree. One day you will live there again, just not as soon as your heart wishes for it to be so.
- You apply for university, to start in autumn 2008. Your at-the-time first choice offers you a place three days before Christmas. It is your first offer out of four to come. You smile, laugh, and jump around the house like you’ve never done so before in your life.
- Christmas 2007 is spent is your own company, and that of the snuggly one. Your one present is that of your university offer, but nothing else could have been sweeter to receive.
- Back at college in January, your closest friend, who happens to be male and three years older, turns into your own private stalker.
January also takes you to see one of your favourite bands you’ve loved for the longest of times.- For the next couple of months he is chasing you to the train station, getting on your train home, and demanding your attention and time in a completely obsessive and entirely non-friendly way.
- When your father comes to visit from the USA to take you to a visit day at your first-offered university, you are glad for the break away from the stalker. You hope the distance and time apart will soothe difficulties.
- Things get worse. Your stalker ‘attempts’ to commit suicide three times at your town’s train station. He never jumps. He just sits there until the police are called out to pull him off the bridge and arrest him.
- You have been followed and chased down that many times, you no longer feel safe in your home town, or the city of your college to walk alone. Although you do it anyway, constant looking over your shoulder, and panic attacks start setting in.
- Finding comfort in a female friend, one year older than yourself, and your course tutor at college, things improve as the stalker has to leave you alone, else feel the wrath of those silently supporting you.
- During this time you have received all four university offers. You visited one uni and hated it. You visited another and decided this one would be your first choice, over your previously preferred university. The long term benefits of this one outweigh the short term desires of the previous one.
- You turn nineteen.
- A couple of weeks into April, you manage to resolve things with your stalker, but you lay down ground rules for the newly-forged friendship.
So there’s the basics of it. The possibilities that may have occurred to render a website owner in a hibernative state. Of course there’s no reason to think they did happen, they just might have…
OK guys and gals, here’s the point of this post. I was pretty much in hibernation from the internet for a good number of months. It’s not the first time it’s happened, and I would bet that it isn’t going to be the last.
Everything listed above did happen to me, amongst other non-interesting things. Whilst some of it may sound… undesirable, it inadvertently strengthened other parts of my life. Some of the things that happened during the stalkerish stage were enjoyable in the sense that I had huge adrenaline rushes and for once in my life I could be loud and shout and swear at someone at the top of my lungs. It was great! I’m normally rather calm, quiet and content and so this experience let me break out of that mold a little bit! 
I plan on writing about particular things listed above in their own sanctity of individual posts in the coming weeks. I thought it may be an idea to sketch out a basic ‘outline’ of what life has been like for me since November ‘07.
Rather interesting, eh? Actually, not really. I’m sure there are more interesting things six months could have been filled with! But it has been one hell of a ride, for me, that’s for sure!
I’m slowly crawling back into the world of online things.
Some things that have changed regarding online things:
- My oceanus-anima.com email addresses have been spammed to death. I no longer use them, and now enjoy the comforts of Gmail. (englishocean at gmail.com is my email address).
- I am using someone else’s theme for oceanus-anima.com. This is a first ever in my history of website owning since 2003.
- My iBook broke. Then my computer broke. Then my website broke. My iBook is forever broken. My computer just about usable. My website back up and waiting for me to use it again.
If there is not one thing you can possibly comment upon, and/or relate to then… well… that really can’t be the case, surely? If so, can you explain? At least welcome me back into the online world.
Hahaha, It’s funny how you can roll in and out of the web, I’m finding it difficult to update lately.
Good God…
Well, at least your life hasn’t been boring since the Internet last saw you. (And by the way, I am glad to see you’re back. I was starting to wonder if you’d just permanently drop of the face of the Earth.)
It’s weird how sometimes horrible experiences make for the best learning tools. Weird how sometimes when you tell people things about your life and they say “Oh, I’m so sorry…” and you think, ‘…I wouldn’t have had it any other way.’ The things that help us mature as people are quite odd when you think about it…
I do that hibernation thing too. Though it never really seems as if I’m away because even though I feel totally disconnected from the Internet at large, I’ll still post every once in a while. *suddenly reminded of the song “Hotel California”*
By the way, I love the theme you picked. It’s making my theme self-conscious.
Lol. Your recap really did make me laugh. Although you did seem to suffer some unfortunate things (the stalker, namely), you appear to have come out of it with a fresh perspective =)
Sadness for the breaking of the iBook. I’ve been having some trouble with my Macbook lately and I’m hoping there’s nothing wrong with my baby. I hate using other people’s themes too, but sometimes you just don’t have a choice, cause you’re busy making one yourself but you don’t want your site to look plain and sad in the meantime, either.
@ Belinda
I know exactly what you mean! This has by no means been the first time I’ve disappeared from the Internet for a couple of months. It seems that sometimes the Internet fits in well with life, other times it doesn’t.
It’s strange, but there’s nothing wrong with that!
@ Mari
I tend to feel rather guilty because a number of people I know in real life who I contact online (Facebook etc) suffered from the hibernation as well! They thought I had actually dropped off the side of the planet and started to contact my sister to get her to poke me alive! Deary me.
So sorry for making you think I had actually disappeared!
All I can say is I agree with what you’ve said! It is generally the bad things that happen to us that actually have a positive effect on us. You just have to take in everything you learn during difficult times. I learned hell of a lot about myself, my friends and about people in general!
I am actually glad it happened! It really shifted my thinking and attitude towards the world. Not in a huge life-changing way (Christ, it wasn’t that bad!) but in a way that at least did do something!
I think most people do hibernate now and then, we just all have different ways of doing it. Some people can manage to make a few short posts now and then, and then, others like me, literally don’t touch the Internet!
I’m glad you like the theme - I certainly do! Aww, I have taken a quick glance at your site and it’s so pretty! But I’ll comment on that on your site.
And also why you’ve switched from DreamHost to Holdfire! I’m so intrigued!
@ An
I’m glad my ramblings managed to make you laugh.
That’s one of the things I strive to do!
Suffer I would say is a strong word, but then again, it’s probably fair to say I did. But yes, I did come out of it with a fresh perspective on things, which I’m really grateful for!
I know, I miss using my iBook baby so much! I still have it, I just can’t use it!
It’s too pretty to just be sitting there doing nothing! I hope you manage to sort out your MacBook! What in particular is going poopy with it?
It’s actually quite a rewarding feeling to be using someone else’s theme for a change! I really like this one, (love it even) which helps enormously!
I’m so glad you’re back and blogging again! I’ve missed you! ^_^
I’m really sorry about your iBook, your computer and your website
I think my laptop is about to die… and my website just recently recovered - I’m crossing my fingers, hoping nothing else would go wrong and that my laptop would hold out for at least another year. I really don’t have the money to buy a new one.
So much has happened!!! Seems fun and scary and a bit overwhelming all at the same time. So, I will ask… How are you NOW?! (After everything that’s happened). ^_^
Wow, what a hibernation! I’m really glad you sorted everything out with your stalker, very scary stuff :\
Congrats with all the Uni-ness & glad you had a great time in America
I’m off to America for the first time this summer - I’m a bit scared! Haha, should be good though.
& yay for My Ruin & Die So Fluid
hehe.
Wow. Sounds like you’ve had a lot of stuff going on. Going into hibernation doesn’t sound too weird conscidering all that.
You’ve had your very own stalker?! :O Sounds scary! Well at leat you got to scream and curse. I agree that it can be very refreshing to do so sometimes!
Jeebus, that’s quite a scary recap! I’ve been there - the being scared for your life, thing. They don’t like my kind in this town, lol. Hope things get better!
@ Fatima
I’m glad you’re back at blogging too! I missed your posts! I think just as you ‘came back’ I vanished - irony, or what?!
I’ll have my fingers crossed for your laptop too. I’m hoping to replace my computer with a laptop during the summer (ready for university). Although I’m starting to begin to think the money for it simply won’t exist!
How am I now? Good question! I’m… good? I am! But I’m also looking at everything with a new set of eyes. I’ve been a little more judgmental and vocal of those judgments than I ever have been in my life! If I don’t like something - I say it! It’s weird really, but also good because I’m crawling out of my boring shy shell!
Thanks for asking!
@ Sarah
America is awwshum! Well, I’ve only ever been in the New England region, but even that is enough to rock my socks! Where abouts are you going?
Yay for *hopefully* new My Ruin album sometime this year! Wow, if My Ruin and Die So Fluid toured TOGETHER again - it would be truly insane! And unmissable!
@ Angelica
It actually surprised me how satisfying screaming and cursing was! I’m not one for doing either - I rarely even raise my voice, but boy, I’m slightly enthralled to do it more often!
@ Faith
“They don’t like my kind in this town”
Wow - what does that make you?! *laughs* Honestly, upon reading that in your comment I laughed wondering either a) what you were, or b) what kind of people you live around! Werewolves? Inbreds? Inbred werewolves?!
I’ve clearly read too many weird fictional books!
What am I!? Wouldn’t you like to know? *shifty eyes*
I live in an all Born Again Christian town in the middle of nowhere, and I don’t know about inbred but they’re mostly hicks out here, lol. Hicks are dangerous people when you don’t agree with them religiously or politically!
I guess crazy, drama or interesting thing filled times away from the computer is just what we need every once in a while.
Sorry about your ibook…that’s a sad loss. hopefully everything is up and working fine soon. i love the list. very funny. sometimes hibernation fron the ‘net is a good thing.
whoa, those are valid excuses for being away for a while. You were just having too much fun to have time to update is all! Course, the ibook thing was a drag but I’m sure all the other stuff you were up to more than made up for it.
LOL, great post! I usually stay active for a few days.. I mean, SUPER ACTIVE, I spend 24/7 online.
Then I just lose interest in all kind of online stuff and dissappear for a few months… xD
Welcome back from your “hibernation!”
I’m sorry to hear your iBook broke, but a very happy 19th birthday to you!
And I’m glad you had such a good time in New York, too. I would love to visit one day.
I love this site, and the layout is so original.
Awwww, sorry that your iBook and computer broke. It’s really annoying when that happens.
Happy 19 birthday, mine’s tomorrow :p
Welcome back from hibernation!
We all need to hibernate every so often and just take time out to chill.
Some of the things you mentioned above did happen to me as well. For instance, I no longer feel safe walking alone at the university I attend and the town I live in. Ever since I heard about family members who got robbed, I’m very paranoid and always on the lookout.
@ Faith
Sorry for the late reply… if you were expecting one anyway!
It must be rather difficult living in a town of Born-Again Christians, surely? If you don’t mind me asking, why are you living in such a town?
@ Sarah
Hmm, it’s not good to feel unsafe walking around your own University.
Have you told anyone about it (at the campus)? I guess the only thing you can do is make sure your not walking with valuables where possible. Walking with someone is good too - but not always achievable, I know.
Feel free to get in contact if you wanted to chat about it.
Ah! A blogger who has variety (from fiction to pirate accents, apparently). Finally!
Happy nineteenth, by the way. An adult teenager. Interesting.
Your iBook broke? Well, dang, there goes my notion of the Invicible Macs.
You know, before reading this post on hibernation, I always thought it was just curling up in a hole and sleeping for all of winter. Thanks for enlightening me.
Yours is the first blog I’ve commented through despair.nu in quite some time that I actually enjoyed reading!
Wow. I’m glad you pulled through all that, when things get hard we learn so much about ourselves and in the end it truly is worth it. Feeling strong again is amazing. Congrats on college, and happy belated birthday. When I drifted from the internet and came back I always wanted to just write out everything that had happened while I was gone, but could never really find the right way to share it all with out boring everyone to death. This was not only a creative way, but very efficient. Good job
Your recap really made me giggle. You’ve had a lot going on, so it’s no wonder you’ve been away from Le Internet for a while. I will admit that number 15 made me really giggle, “you manage to resolve things with your stalker, but you lay down ground rules for the newly-forged friendship.” ^^
I’m so sorry about your broken iBook and your broken computer. Dang woman - what isn’t broken at this point? *lol*
x despair
That’s a hell of a recap and made me realize I don’t do much with my time. XD
sounds like you had an awesome time. i should probably get away from the internet as well, but being a stay at home mom, there really isn’t anything else to do.
I’ve been having a hard time updating my site… I struggle trying to find things that are blog-worthy… so I just change layouts and join little cliques.
David Cook (whom I put on my new layout!) was the most recent American Idol. For the Finale, he and the other David did Guitar Hero commercial making fun of Risky Business… mmm
Thats quite a lot of intense things to happen to you. If it made you stronger its all for the best.
[...] 3. If you wonder why that’s a bad thing, well, if you thought everything that happened during the Hibernation was bad, what’s happened since that blog post has been worse. Much worse. Gah, I really guess [...]