Yeeeah. So I couldn’t even come up with a real title. That in itself sums up what this post is about. My absolute lack of any kind of blogging… er *thinks of a good word*… skill? I don’t know.

Anyway as you can nicely see through my bare archives I’m terrible at keeping up with this blogging malarkey. I always have been, ever since I first starting doing it however many years ago. In fact many times I’ve started up a blog, written some crapola about crapola and then deleted it. Rinse and repeat as necessary. I’ve lost count how many times I’ve done that because I would look back at it and think ‘yuck! What the hell am I writing? DELETE AND FORGET!’.

That was until, well the first entry on here (that you can actually see). I don’t really know what changed. Suddenly I could read through my ramblings and not cringe enough to want to delete it. (Oh, I always cringe after I’ve written something. Always.)

However no amount of less-cringe-worthy moments were ever enough to keep me  regular at posting not-so-crapola crapola. I don’t know why.

Actually that’s a lie. I have a theory.

You see most people who happen to own a blog, when things get crazy/hectic/out of whack in their lives they write about it. And so within said out-of-whackness they continue to post away. I however don’t do that. Ah no. When things start to get a little interesting I completely forget that this blog exists and never even think ‘oh, this might make for a decent post’. Nope. Nada. I tend to post when everything is all calm, rested… *cough* boring *cough*.

Between this post (The Hibernation - see? I already wasn’t blogging consistently) and this one (Firefox 3 – Download Day) in 2008, I lost a friend to suicide. Which happens to be my most recent post when I finally wrote about it one  year after she died. Now I wrote that post almost a year ago now and guess what? FUCK  LOADS (excuse my language) has happened since then! And I don’t mean just from that post, I mean from when my friend died. So where’s the bloody posts saying so?

Admittedly the months after her death were… weird. Not one of my greatest times but definitely not my darkest either. However my life took certain paths and eventually I got to place where I’d genuinely never been happier. That felt weird. But however weird it felt – it feels great now. This amazing happiness I’ve never quite experienced before is still going strong and I love it.

I just kind of wish I’d written about everything as it happened and could then actually see from my words how the happiness came to be. The things I should have written about include, but aren’t limited to:

• My exams – which went awful. Having a friend die two weeks before exams start isn’t exactly good timing. Especially attending her funeral rather than attending an exam (my choice entirely).
• My results – 3 months later the results of said exams came and they were poor. University was out of the picture for September which was gutting as I was already one year ‘behind’ everyone else.
• I spent the summer working my ass off at my job (simple shelf-stacker at a supermarket) and when September came around I was taken on as full-time staff (although they didn’t change my 13 hour contract to a 39 hour one – bastards!).
• I started an application for uni for September ’09 and then essentially had a ‘friend’ talk me out of it (that’s how it felt anyway) and was talked into moving in with her for sometime around the summer once we both had enough money.
• February came. As did a text message to my phone which said that this ‘friend’ had a place at uni for next September. Oh wow! Exciting stuff! WAIT ONE MINUTE… WTF? Why did she have a place when I hadn’t even applied for one and had since completely missed the deadline to get in to uni? As such our ‘friendship’ completely broke down. I felt very very stupid. (I should point out we are friends again now).
• At this time I got depressed (not as in full on depression) or more should I say frustrated at work. Here I was in a dead-end job I didn’t want for the rest of my life, yet no options for anything else, and feeling like I had no friends (so not true!).
• Then May/June time I started hanging out with a couple of people from work I had gone out and got drunk with once in February. Happiness starts here. Suddenly I had a group of friends I could open up to, who I enjoyed spending time with and we went through quite possibly the most accelerated friendship ever to happen in the history of mankind! Those two girls and that one guy are now some of the closest people to me. In a way they are a kind of family to me. They are all four years older than me but you wouldn’t tell from looking at the way we act together.
• Late June I decided ‘what the hell’ and sent off an application for uni. Understand it was very late and chances of getting a place where limited but not impossible. I had to go for a Science Foundation Year because of my crappy grades.
• Less than two weeks after applying I got an unconditional offer from the University of East Anglia. All I had to do was accept it and the place was mine – no questions asked, nothing more needed from me. So I took it.
• Work was much easier for the next three months as I knew I wasn’t staying there after September. All was merry and happy.
• As the crunch time came I was having more and more doubts about whether I really wanted to go to uni or not. I had a job (an asset in a time of recession), amazing friends and was happy. Did I really need anything more? Thankfully I saw sense and didn’t back out of my decision but, my, was it hard leaving. I had three leaving-dos the last of which was painfully emotional. I was moving from as far West as you can go in England to as far East as possible. I was dead scared of losing my friends (as it would feel like I was losing my family) but they assured me that would never happen.
• So as of the 20th of September 20o9, I have been a student of UEA, Norwich. I’m two years older than I ‘should’ be and when I start my ‘real’ degree this September I’ll be three years older than some of the students on it. But so what. I’m finally here. And guess what? I didn’t lose my friends from back West. Nope I now have them as well as some of the most amazing people I’ve ever met in my life. The friends I’ve made here at uni are most definitely going to be friends for life.
• Happiness grows exponentially here and continues.
• ‘Course now would be the time I list everything that’s happened at uni but blimey that would take six million pages to write and that still wouldn’t cover everything! No, that’ll be material for posts yet to come.

*scratches head* I’ve been rambling haven’t I? And I haven’t even covered anything that I wanted to.

Right, well here’s my point. I want to start keeping this thing up to date (again?). The way I use the Internet has changed a lot (another post to come) which I think adds to why I don’t blog anymore. Not only did I stop writing, but I also stopped reading the blogs I visited everyday. I want to change that.

So here’s to some awful rambling set to continue, and me stalking your site once again. Sound good to you?

Posted from Norwich, England, United Kingdom.